and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
