We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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