you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
