her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
