this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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