dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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