my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sorry my hands just texted you
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i out mim tonsoeep
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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