Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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