I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
