sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
