you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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