Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
