Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
