I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
