i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
