Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
