Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize