It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
