why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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