Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
