I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
