So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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