I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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