Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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