Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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