a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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