Pants 0. Shit 1.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
