Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
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and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I need a beard to bite.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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