Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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