Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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