ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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