what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
