Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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