You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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