I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
