Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
