AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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