I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
