He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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