so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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