My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Success! We fucked roommates!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize