Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This is the high leading the old right now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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