Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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