I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
