In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
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Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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