the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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