i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
