Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
