My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
