Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
