Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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