Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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