Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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