it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
