ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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