Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
